And the most feared calling is........

I have asked many people lately this question. "Of all the ways you could be asked to serve in the church, what would be the calling you would fear most?" People usually answer a couple of different callings, citing their various reasons, but there seems to be one common calling, and it's usually the first one, that is always mentioned. AND, I have recently been asked to fill this calling! Do you have a guess yet?.........One of the most feared callings of the church appears to be gospel doctrine teacher (Primary President is also a common). Even older well-seasoned active and faithful saints who have served in just about every church organization I can think of, who are out-going and like to talk, said that is the one calling they would fear.

So, why so much fear? Of course it terrifies me as well. No matter how much I read and prepare, I get almost physically sick the night before I am supposed to teach. I've been trying to sort through why it is that I feel like that. Is it my own pride? Do I think I have to know everything in order to not look stupid or in order to appear good to others? Am I intimidated by the knowledge of those present in the class? Is it my fear of public speaking? Is it because my mind literally goes blank when I stand in front of people (which is why I like to write my talks out word for word beforehand)? Is it a lack of faith that the Spirit will direct and guide me? Is it that I fear the responsibility teachers have to create and environment where people can be taught and uplifted and thus feel a lot of pressure to have the perfect lesson/discussion? Maybe it is a combination of all these....

Regardless, I've taught 2 lessons so far and hope they get a little easier and that I will get a little better each time. Being able to teach powerfully and clearly is a strength I desire to develop because my life has been greatly blessed and changed as a result of amazing teachers. Nate had been blessed with that gift and I have always admired that in him. I have tried to glean from him and other teachers that have positively affected my life. I am trying to diligently prepare and live worthily of the Spirit so that that is how the teaching is done.

I will say that I know I have already been personally blessed by the focused and purposeful study I done to try to do my part to prepare. I have been amazed at the power the scriptures have, no matter where and what I study, to bring strength and focus and testimony into my life. They are refreshing, they bring hope, they bring peace, they bring comfort and guidance and understanding. I have personally learned so much more than I could ever share/give another person. I am saddened that it would take a calling such as this, even fear, to motivate me to study in this manner, but I am also thankful. I hope I will learn to study with the same intensity even long after I no longer have such a calling.

So, I would challenge you to pretend like you will be teaching the gospel doctrine class this Sunday and see how that changes the way and intensity with which you study the scriptures.